trust without borders

so you probably feel as though you’ve experienced a drought because it’s been about a month since we have given any kind of update on the adoption and life in general. sorry about that! over the last month we have been busy updating our passports + waiting for our fingerprint appointment + receiving notice of our fingerprint appointment + traveling to get our fingerprints taken + receiving our updated passports + waiting to receive our I-171H + receiving our I-171H. whew….it makes me tired just talking about it all! so all that progress led us to this past Thursday, we spent the majority of the morning triple checking all our documents, putting them in the right order, making copies of everything, calling our family coordinator for some clarification, and then checking again to make sure we didn’t make any noticeable mistakes. I felt a little sick the entire morning, we were experiencing so many emotions. it’s been a labor of love. I think I cried probably about 4 times because the moment was so surreal! it might sound weird but we’ve been working toward this for the past 9 months and it seriously felt like we were birthing a paper packet (and a hefty one to boot). The day finally came and we mailed our dossier!!!

 

 (the people at the post office thought we were a little crazy – I could not compose myself, despite Tanner’s pleadings)

it’s easy to focus on the part where most people have a child in their arms after a 9 month wait and instead we are just beginning the (what seems like endless) wait until we are matched with our child. (just being honest) we might not have been to countless doctors appointments...even though we did have to get physical exams, we didn’t read through baby books...but have read through plenty of adoption books that we are required by our agency to read, we have yet to prepare a nursery...even though we will in the coming months, we have not celebrated and been showered with gifts...even though I know we will because I have some great friends + family, we have not seen our baby on sonogram or even a picture...but the email with our Amos’ face will come one day. it’s tough y’all. adoption is beautiful and messy and challenging and redemptive. so instead of focusing on not yet having our Amos home I’m choosing to focus on my God’s good promises. He is faithful – He has never failed and won’t start now. I can’t help but think of oceans (where feet may fail) by Hillsong. it’s been my anthem and prayer lately. it is full of biblical truths that we can lay over our life, especially in walking through this adoption journey. if you have never heard it, I urge you to go download it…

you call me out upon the waters

the great unknown, my feet may fail

and there I find you in the mystery

in oceans deep, my faith will stand

and I will call upon your name

and keep my eyes above the waves

when oceans rise, my soul will rest in your embrace

for I am yours, and you are mine

your grace abounds in deepest waters

your sovereign hand will be my guide

where feet may fail and fear surrounds me

you’ve never failed and you won’t start now

so I will call upon your name

and keep my eyes above the waves

when oceans rise, my soul will rest in your embrace

for I am yours, and you are mine

Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders

Let me walk upon the waters

wherever you would call me

take me deeper than my feet could ever wander

and my faith will be made stronger

in the presence of my Savior

so I will call upon your name

and keep my eyes above the waves

when oceans rise, my soul will rest in your embrace

for I am yours, and you are mine

and my faith will be made stronger in the presence of my Savior

My words fail in comparison but when I get discouraged I remind myself that God has called us to adopt even if it’s scary + unfamiliar. It’s in the unfamiliar and unknown times that we rely and press into our Savior and He is glorified as a result. So we are trusting in God to build our family the way He has planned, we are following in obedience. As we continue on this journey we pray and pray and pray and keep our focus on the one who has called us instead of on what lies before us. God hears our cries and comforts us and we find rest in Jesus. He lovingly reminds us that we were chosen by himself to be adopted as His children and we love because He first loved us. We are praying that the Lord will continue to guide our steps and prepare us. During this time there are still so many fears and uncertainties but God’s grace abounds. 

So I will keep my eyes above the waves and rest in the embrace of my Savior as we wait. It’s my prayer that the Spirit will lead me where my trust is without borders, wherever He calls, that He would lead me deeper than my feet could ever wander and that my faith would be made stronger in the presence of my Savior.